Getting married barefoot at the foot of a volcano instead of a church? How about underwater or by a skydiving justice of the piece? Well, traditional vows may not be for you and your partner.
Contemporary vows are just as accepted in wedding ceremonies as dressing up like Elvis and a Las Vegas showgirl. They are a personal statement about your relationship with your partner and will make you wedding day special and unique. However, not everyone has the same ideas about what vows should mean or say.
For some people, writing vows can become very difficult. Some grooms may find them to be too “mushy” while brides may not think they are romantic enough. Furthermore, words like “everlasting love” and “eternal soul mate” may not be in your natural language, and may feel strange to say in front of family and friends.
Contemporary vows may be as simple as one sentence or as ornate as a fifteen minute speech. It’s your wedding and so you can make it what you want, but the most important thing is that you and your partner both agree on them. If your partner wants to write vows that rib you about how he “promises to love you in sickness or in health, and even when you walk around the house in your bathrobe,” let him know if this would be embarrassing or hurtful. There’s nothing worse than writing surprise vows only to find out they are less than flattering at the altar.
When writing contemporary vows, you can also consider how they might reflect you as a couple. If you and your soon to be spouse enjoy kidding around and laughing, then joke-filled vows may just be for you. If you or your spouse is a singer, perhaps you could write them a song and sing your vows instead. Vows can also be said in different languages if you are creating a bi-lingual household and union, and can also mix the vows of the different cultures that you may be marrying into.
If you do decide on writing your own vows in a contemporary style, run them by a few friends first, perhaps your bridesmaids and groomsmen to see what they think. What may be hilarious to you and your spouse may be offensive or strange to others, and you may not realize it until you’ve read them to someone else. Getting a green light from friends on your vows is also a good idea so that they can time you and tell you if you need to make your vows longer or shorter.
Whether you are getting married from 10,000 feet or in a church and want to seal the deal of your marriage your own way, contemporary vows are for just about anyone. Just remember to make sure that you and your partner approve of each other’s vow before you walk down the aisle, and make them a reflection of your love for one another.